It's good to talk ~ June 2007

I am sure most readers will be familiar with this statement. And it is good to talk, it’s also good to listen, since most things that we verbalise are generally founded in what we have heard, had explained to us, or observed. Of course some individuals will invent things and talk about nothing and sometimes set themselves up for an embarrassing fall. However most individuals do not give the power of speech a second thought. Where would we be without speech?

It came late in our development and is given complete responsibility for our having invented civilisation. Without articulate speech we would be simply shouting, howling and grunting like beasts in the jungle. It is doubtful if writing would have been invented, in fact it would have been impossible. Information would not have been passed down the generations. Therefore we would not have all that we have today, other than our bodies of course, had it not been for the development of intelligent speech. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “Talk is by far the most accessible of pleasures. Its costs nothing in money, it is all profit, it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any state of health”.

Talking is good, it is an outward expression of our thoughts and emotions, and from a therapeutic point of view it can help to unload burdens, reduce worry and anxiety. Through talking we can describe our feelings, worries and our warm glows. Many times people have walked out of my office after the initial consultation and on their return have said, ‘I felt so different, just by talking and listening’. I would like to think it is my skill and knowledge, which plays a part, but the truth is, when people come to my office, they are given time to talk, a safe time to be who they are, to express their fears, and doubts and to recognise their strengths. And very often they realise that the “insurmountable” problem which they have been carrying about for years, was solvable. When we talk about our emotions, we have to ‘go inside’ to put the information in order to effectively articulate it to the other person. Instead of pushing the problem to the back of our minds hoping to forget it or manage it, it is always best to deal with it. Talking and listening are good for us, if we learn how to do them properly.

 Talk is important in every aspect of our lives. Whatever our job or profession, whatever our age or gender, we are dealing with other people. Take a moment to reflect just how many different people you come into contact with in the course of a day or a week how many people you talk to, listen to, and write to. It is the mastery of these skills which determines other individuals’ considerations and evaluation of us. Although not always easy, it is good to talk, it helps us manage our lives, helps solve our problems, allows us to share our thoughts and fears, and makes us better people. Then we are in a position to pass on our knowledge to others. It’s good to talk.