In short you’re sabotaging yourself.
‘I’m fine’, the words just roll off your tongue when someone asks how you’re feeling. But truthfully IBS is making your life miserable!
How are you today your cheerful co-worker asks, or the check-out assistant, or your partner or other loved one, and even though you might have been in the bathroom in IBS agony for the previous 2 hours and you have done everything you can to get to work / school / college /store / the words “I’m fine” just roll from your lips.
You shouldn’t say you’re fine when you’re not, it rarely helps you or the IBS.
This self-sabotaging is something I have witnessed almost daily in my 26 years of working with IBS sufferers. And you’re not the only ones, people with anxiety, excessive stress, insomnia, pain and a whole raft of other conditions say the same or similar words. ‘I’m great’, ‘Top One’, ‘Tickety-boo’, ‘I’m good’ and others beside are often stated, but you and they know deep down, or closer the surface that you are not ‘fine’, ‘great’, ‘chipper’, ‘tickety-boo’, your hanging on by your fingernails, summoning all the internal energy you can, just to get through the day.
Well it’s time to get honest with yourself and with others. So what words can you use to be honest, to yourself and to others?
In fact you only need two words – and depending if you feel up to it, able to utter more – a maximum of four words is all that’s needed!
You may or may not know, that the mind and body are inseparably linked, because every thought you have has a physical effect on your body, and every physical response has an effect on your mind. They never stop speaking to each other – ever!
You may have come across phrases such as ‘the mind body connection’, IBS sufferers will have heard the phrase ‘brain gut axis’. These statements often used by health professionals recognize the close connection and interaction between the mind and body.
When you think of someone you love you may get warm fuzzy feelings. When you think of someone who is less likable, you experience a different set of feelings. But those feelings are a result of thoughts even if the person you love, or dislike are nowhere near you.
When you are stressed or anxious you will experience the emotional impact of those emotions also within your body, often likely to be in your gut, making the IBS symptoms worse.
So what can you do about this?
- The first thing is recognize the link between mind and body, I expect every reader will be able to relate to that.
- Secondly be aware that your internal speak is also important
For example, when you say your fine, your subconscious tries to match up your words with how you feel emotionally and physically. It instantly recognizes that it cannot relate, so this causes an internal conflict. Your body and mind are saying one thing, your words are saying something else.
Your subconscious becomes conflicted, why are you saying something that is not true? How can you be fine, when you feel as you do?
So this internal conflict starts to take energy away from you. It needs to understand! So you start wasting energy, emotional energy which you may have little of in the first place! It’s important to be honest with yourself.
So from now on, when someone asks how you are doing, if its appropriate say ‘I’m coping’ or I’m coping thank you – two words or four.
What these words do is several things.
- Firstly your statement is true – you are coping. The lies have stopped!
- Second – It lets others know you are not having the best of times – without going into detail. It’s like code for – leave me alone!
- Thirdly, your subconscious balances your answer internally – yes you are coping, you are not at your best, and it can understand your truthful reply, so it looks no further. You immediately stop wasting valuable energy!
So those few little words, can have a big positive impact.
Try them out, you will feel better for speaking them. And the great thing is, is that you will be starting a journey of understanding that your internal speak can help you in many ways to feel better in both mind and body. And that is an exciting and rewarding journey indeed.
For a short time we are giving away the Introduction session of the IBS Audio Program 100 for adults – all you need to do is email us at: email@example.com and we’ll send you the MP3 file to download.
You will hear lots about the mind and body, and why you feel the way you do – in easy to understand language.
Just hearing this track has helped many to understand there is hope!
I wish you well,
– Clinical Hypnotherapist
Multiple Innovation & Research Award winner.
Author of thefor Adults